As I Say My Goodbyes

Thursday, July 31, 2014

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I'll never be the pretty one.

I'll never be the hot one.

I'll never be the smart one.

I'll never be the cool one.

I'll never be the one everyone wants to know about.

I'll always be the one who's kinda pretty sometimes at some angles.

I'll always be the one who's kinda hot sometimes in some clothes with some alcohol.

I'll always be the one who's kinda smart.

I'll always be the one who's kinda cool.

I'll always be the one people only want when there's no one else around.

I'll never be the one guys want to get to know and treat like a princess; the one they think deserves the best.

I'll always be the one guys just want to try at, cos they think I'll be easy.

And the worst part is that I think I am kinda easy.

Such superficial and fleeting validation, but that's the only way I seem to be able to get it.

I'm worth as much as my body and how much I put out. Anything beyond that and I'm not worth a second of anyone's time, I'm not worth a second glance.

I'm not worth any effort.

I'm not even pretty or hot.

My body isn't even worth that.

I'm not worth anything.

I'm hanging by a thread|1:35 PM|

Thursday, July 17, 2014

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I'm trying not to rush it, but it hurts every day that I wait.

And I'm waiting for something so unsure; something that may never happen.

I battle with the decision. Do I move on cos it's far too long to wait around, or do I hold on as much as I reasonably can? I don't even know what's going on on the other end.

He has another branch to grab, I'm holding this one and waiting for him to reach out to me.

The worst part is that the most logical time for this to finally happen would be in 2018-2019; 5 years' time.

What man would wait for a girl for 5 years?

I guess the similar question could be asked: what girl would wait for a man for 5 years?

I would. For you, I would.

I'm hanging by a thread|1:08 AM|