As I Say My Goodbyes

Saturday, May 29, 2010

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OMG I MUST GET "NIGHTMARE" (album)

Must must get it! DX

I think I'll order it so I get it before most people! >;(

It'll be especially valuable! Sigh. );

Oh, I've made the "website" for Vermillion. *hearts*

I'm not linking it until it's 100% ready! >;(

I'm hanging by a thread|2:10 AM|

Thursday, May 27, 2010

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When it comes to you

I know everything and anything

What you like to do

What you like to wear

What you're putting in your hair

I'm hanging by a thread|12:13 AM|

Monday, May 24, 2010

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Using my iPhone! Having fun with my newly changed data plan (;
I'm actually quite bored.….… :/
Audrey is sleeping, her head on my lap. She's moving a lot, I think she's in her R.E.M state. :/
she says my leg is comfortable.…... Now we are getting ready for chem practical. AGAIN. Ugh. That woman......

I'm hanging by a thread|1:18 PM|

Sunday, May 23, 2010

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Honestly? I really don't know what I'm doing. You'd think I know exactly what I'm doing, and that I don't care about what might result from this. I think about it every day. I fear the situation every day. I like this as little as you do. I just can't bear to bring myself down because I know you'll rise with pride and forget you ever felt low. Then more fears attack. I wish I could tell you everything I hate about you, and everything about you I wish I had. I'm not quite sure what this is, and how it had ever erupted to become something like this. I don't want this. I don't know how it came to be and I don't know how to fix it. We both have too much pride to admit we're both wrong. So we don't talk. Is this how it's going to be? We're not in lower sec, I believe we can settle this more maturely. I hope we do before it's too late. Perhaps all this, ALL of this wouldn't have ever happened (even though some of it is over) if I hadn't come in. My life and all of yours' would be so different.

I'm afraid I've lost you for good. We've known each other for a while, yeah not as long as many others you know but long enough on my part. Are we letting it all go? Very often when I reflect on my life and how it has come to be the way it is, my thoughts are flooded with you. You've played a really big part in who I've become. Yup, as unbelievable as it could be. It's true. I have to move on, without you. I guess I've given up on trying to keep talking to you. Obviously you don't need me in your life. Wouldn't make a difference if I walked away or merely drifted afar. Well, it makes a difference to me. We don't always have things our way right? I'll have to live with it. But know this, I won't forget you. You were one of the better friends I've had in my lifetime even though you've given up my place for someone else most probably, by now. Life goes on right? I need to get over being stuck in the past. Put in a different perspective, doesn't it seem like life sours as we age? Well, if you ever decide you'd like me around again, I'm right here.

People really do change... Don't we all? It's whether the friendship is a strong enough bond to withstand the change. As people change, personalities change don't they? Some friendships just aren't strong enough. Or the people have grown weak to adjusting to changes. When relationships with friends fall out. I believe it is mostly due to change.

A little much to think about before I sleep, though... Not good. Not good. :/

I'm hanging by a thread|11:48 PM|

Monday, May 17, 2010

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Of course you should commend someone like that, because you know you need these kinds of people in order to be yourself. The person who throws people down to feel better about yourself. I've got a whole different way of looking at the things you say now. Everything you say, I put it the opposite way in my head. Why? Because you only insult and criticize the people you feel threatened by. So that you make yourself believe they are worse off than you are, resulting in you feeling better about yourself, that you're greater. Couldn't you find a less destructive way to help yourself? People who don't know how you work (or should I say, have not been stupid enough to have more than one experience with you) can take your shit pretty hard. And for what? So you can feel good? In the end you still know yourself that you don't think highly of yourself because you know that you are killing others to feel self-satisfaction.

It's so clear. I can't believe I took so long to see this. You're only more or less constantly great friends with people who are ready to kiss your ass, wipe your ass and eat your shit. You use your temper to manipulate these people. And the people you know you can to make yourself feel better without insulting, you treat so well. (Sadly you clearly think these people as lesser people, I'd beg to differ).

I've given up on you and me. I think I did quite a while ago. I don't need you in my life. You're just always around. And your life coincides with mine in many indirect ways. It's as if I see you everywhere I go. You're a constant reminder of a lot of the pain I've gone through these recent years. I can't wait until we split for good. Please don't come to the school I'm going to. I wish I could break all ties, but that would be too many friends to lose.

No anger here, no. I'll never run out of ammo, but I don't plan to use it. Carry on, be yourself. I don't care. I'd just appreciate it greatly (more than you can imagine) if our lives became completely separate.

I'm hanging by a thread|9:35 PM|

Friday, May 14, 2010

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Be careful what you wish for cos you just might get it.

And if you get it then you just might not know what to do with it.

Cos it might just come back on you tenfold.

I SAID.

Be careful what you wish for cos you might just get. And if you get it then you just might not know what to do with it. Cos it might just come back on you tenfold.

I'm hanging by a thread|11:22 PM|

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

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WELL. I had fun today. (;

Regina, Diane and Julianna came over today for some jamming. We were short of a mic. Yeah..

We were practising for Fiesta. Yeh! PPL come watch us (; (; (: (; (; (; PLEASE (; (; (; (; (; (;

Today was packed full of FUN and games. >.>... YES it was. Hmm. I'm feelin' a l'il crazy. (;

Tomorrow will be a full day of STUFF too! Appointment at KKH in the morning followed by lunch and after with z family (the best ever) and then jamming with Axis at night. TIRED much? But it'll be worth it for a good day! (;

Friday... Friday is a different story. ); Damn.

I'm hanging by a thread|11:12 PM|

Monday, May 10, 2010

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I'm here, yet again. :/

I SHOULD BE STUDYING PoA. And I'm not because... I don't know...~

Met up with Kinny today. <3>

Tomorrow's the last day of exams! ); Damn. School curriculum will resume, right? I HATE SCHOOL... What a positive outlook.

Well since tomorrow's the last day and I have about a week to slack off, I'm going out with Sheryl Shen tomorrow. -spend $$$-

On Wednesday, I'm taking Susy to Macs breakfast and then getting a haircut (my fringe is so uneven). -spend $$$- then Regina, Diane, and I supposed Julianna (?) will be coming for jamming. Thursday I don't know what I'll be doing in the afternoon but in the night I'll be jamming at a studio with Axis. -spend $$$-

Friday I think I'll stay at home and force myself upon some art. -.-

So as you can see, I'm going broke. AHH. What's the point of saving when I'm going to use it on outings, I don't know! *shrug*

I'm getting slightly sleepy... at 8.42 PM. Strange..

I also have this feeling that my fan is going to spin off the ceiling and slice me on its way down. That would be... interesting. LOL.

I'm hanging by a thread|8:27 PM|

Sunday, May 09, 2010

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Exams are almost over, guys! We can pull through.

I think I can pass mid-years. Hopefully. (; I studied so hard! Harder than ever since sec three...

Jason's doing fine (not that you know who or what I'm talking about). He's improving, I assume. They don't tell me much because they don't think I can handle anything negatively major, being my 'O' level year and all. I think it's a family thing. My brother and I aren't meant to have a smooth-sailing 'O' level year. His was the year chairs were thrown and bags were packed. And this year is when all the emotional and physical complications rise. This ain't fun. It ain't fun at all.

Well, I'm on this tablet thing that I take every morning. I do believe it reduces stress and what not. Because I hadn't taken one today, and when I was practising bass I was SOOOO pissed off. Ahh, I'm a druggie now, am I?

I'm so excited for musical activity this week. 8D On wednesday, Regina & band are coming over to jam for our IJ Fiesta possible performance! This is funny because I'm the drummer for my band with Crystal, Maria and Claudia [Chia] as well...

So now I'm a drummer of three bands... *stress*

I'm bassing for one of the songs for The Setlists. Which would be my band with Regina. (;

Wednesday, The Setlists. Thursday, Axis [not at my house, duh]. And Friday would be invaded by Art. Which is what will be happening for several days a week through June. *FUCK ART - THE SUBJECT*

Agh. All these great artists you learn about in SOVA [which Mr Lim has deprived us sec fives from because clearly he doesn't think we are literate enough, probably. Which is ironic considering his English is beyond atrocious]? Inspired by Patricia's status, I agree: DID THEY EVER DO COURSE WORK? I BET NOT. Damn fuck shit.

UGHHH. When I graduate I'll draw a lot. I'LL DRAW about 100 different ways Mr Lim can friggin' die. I know he cares and stuff, but when he pushes us to get A's and yay we have a bright future, he isn't disadvantaged in any way. He just looks better on paper. After scarring us emotionally. Well, the select few of us since he's pretty biased in some ways.

I'll stop ranting about him now.

Must be happy. (;

I'm watching Nerimon and Charlieissocoollike on YouTube now. I need to sleep NOW. But I'm not done feeding my fish in Fishville on Facebook yet... I'm such a geek, I know.

Extra tuition tomorrow, for the exam on Tuesday! Scarie.

My laptop is seriously out of disk space and so are my external hard drives. Yes, I have more than one external hard drive. EVERYTHING IS OUT OF SPACE. Wtf do I put in these things? I'm not so sure myself. Must be my trigger-happy nature or something. When I take a camera with me and start snapping things, I don't quite stop... so if there are any events or such things, I'll come home with about a couple of hundred peektures ready to be uploaded. Not to mention now I have my iPhone, I have many more peektures to upload. This is unfortunate because THERE'S NO FUCKING SPACE for me to upload my peektures in anymore!!!!!!!

Can't wait to get my new laptop in September... (;

Nerimon's video is taking forever to upload. ); Unhappy! He's talking about the hung parliament in the UK. It's great for me to learn about UK politics (though I'm not a fan of politics in general, who the fuck cares how the country is run as long as there's no conflict) because I do plan to go there for further studies, provided I get into the course I want and do well...

AHH. It's 1AM and I'm not asleep. AGAIN.

You fucker you don't deserve.

I'm hanging by a thread|11:05 PM|