As I Say My Goodbyes

Saturday, March 27, 2010

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Hello people who read this. (;

I'm tired, yet awake at 1AM. Doesn't make sense, does it? Well, Farmville is freezing on me and I'm waiting for it to start moving. Tomorrow it's a day that lasts more than 12 hours. From roughly 9AM to roughly 11PM. They should let us go home to bathe and return at CJC, that way we would be much more presentable than sweaty, tired, hair-turned-disobedient. -.-

The school day today was slacked but the time after that was stressful. ); In school it was merely SS and PoA. Cos I've got Mother Tongue and English free. Mother Tongue was before recess and English was after so I had 8 free periods. We watched a movie for English anyway. Good movie. (; Fell asleep during PoA. How can I be tired on the most slacked day of the week?

After school, went to the band room straight. Did art while waiting for someone to unlock the door to the band room. Sectionals until about 530PM. Yeah left at 5.30 to meet Jadon at Serangoon. Faster than I thought. Hmm. Did Art while waiting for Jadon to arrive. By which was the time I was supposed to meet Clement. *ah!* Rushed-ish (can't move too fast) back to Toa Payoh, to get the tickets from Clement at Burger King. Walked less than a minute to "outside bread talk". Haha, Monica's favorite meeting point in Toa Payoh.

Went home, changed to shirt and shorts. Headed to Tampines Mall with my brother and mother. (; We spent almost all our time there in Starhub. Doing some renewal of plan or something. With which we spent a $200 voucher. (; ON WHAT. GUESS WHAT.

iPhone.

Amazing. We're sharing it. The family. I have this nagging feeling that it'll end up in my hands most of the time. Oh no. );

My eyes are stinging. I am tired. I never seem to escape from stress mode. AHHHHHHH. I need a break, a real good break.

I'm hanging by a thread|12:09 AM|

Friday, March 26, 2010

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Good evening, people!

Lately, it's been really hectic what with the busking, Fantasia and schoolwork. It hasn't gone to waste (yet)! We raised more than $360 from our busking! Percussion is too cool for commercial fundraisers. We did it the real way. These are the kinds of things schools won't teach you with whiteboards and textbooks. This is why Band is fantastic. (;

Well, our proceeds will go to the band fund. We do wish it would go to Percussion. I mean, they spend so much money on reeds and repairing brass and woodwind instruments. What about Percussion? When an auxiliary percussion (for example) breaks, it's our fault. When a valve or something is stuck, it's wear and tear. Tell me, is that fair? Anyway, we really need more/new sticks and perhaps new mallet percussion. New Timpani drums, I feel, are unnecessary because our current ones function fine. One of our black, plastic Xylo/bells sticks broke in half. The top half looks like a lollipop but that's besides the point. Sir keeps asking us (unnecessarily repeatedly, mind you) if we have transparent sticks and we keep saying, 'no.' Can we get a pair, please? If it is important such that Sir prefers it most of the time, why don't we get 'em? It's ironic, though. How we get a new drum set and we are going to get new Timpani drums when both the old drum set and current timpani drums weren't and aren't spoiled or in need of any replacement of repair. And how the snare drum from the old drum set is still used when that was the only drum that was really broken, with a hole. HAHA.

Well, I shan't say anymore about band. I can talk forever when it comes to band. I don't know why. Oh, but I must say this: Fantasia VII is SOLD OUT. Mmhmm. Well done, band (though no one's gonna see this).

I don't like our new time table for school. ); We start a brand new week with... ART. Wtf? What a way to start a day let alone a week! I declare Thursday the worst day of the week now. Every day there is at least one 'slack' subject, for me at least? It's either Mother Tongue, English, or things like PE, CE, Assembly etc. Thursdays? Thursdays? NOTHING. The day starts with HHF which isn't slacked, really. It's either contact time (requires attention), or exercise (can't do as one likes). HHF is followed by Chem, which is uber tiring. I never fail to become VERY sleepy during Chem. I believe it is a mix of my lack of understanding, and the subject's dryness. After Chem is Math. I hate this combination. Chem makes my brain leak out of my ears and my eyelids so heavy that they fall off my face. There is no time to freshen up between Chem and Math. Therefore, Math is a blur. Why won't these IT geniuses create a 'therefore' symbol key? You know, the three dots in a triangular shape?

Anyway, after Math is Geog. Sometimes Geog can be tiring cos we aren't doing much. Just listening. However, our teacher seems to have taken a slightly different approach this year. After recess is PoA. Sigh. PoA's effect on my level of alertness varies. On Thursdays it'll be really low? Cos I'd be really tired. I'll be falling asleep. Which isn't going to change when we start on Bio. );

It sucks to sleep in class. Damn, do I know the result of that. It's not good. Not good at all. Sigh. I'm trying. I really am.

Well, after Bio, which take our last three periods/blocks (20 minutes, what do you wanna call that), is Art all the way!

I keep thinking of dying. (; Isn't it the easiest way to solve everything? Do anything and everything you've ever wanted, and then disappear forever. People will get over it, in time.

-Change topic- it's getting a bit morbid I think?

I've been playing Plants VS Zombies a lot lately. (; It's awesome! I've found the best way to make money. With the help of cheats... Makes life so much easier. Sigh. How stupid. This is what I do into the midnight. It's almost 1AM and I'm playing PvZ. -.- I need to lock up this contraption called a laptop. );

Well, I should throw in the towel soon. Snuggle up in my comfy bed in my cosy room and slip into deep sleep.

I'm hanging by a thread|12:04 AM|

Monday, March 22, 2010

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It's late and I'm still here. Hmm. Not good. );

I just realized, the vacuum cleaner has been in my room for the past few days. WHY?!?!

It's in the corner of the carpet I put my drum set on, beside the door.... Strange. It's been there for days, and I keep thinking it'll be gone the next day. And today I noticed it's been there. Faithfully.

HAHA. Interesting. Ahh should sleep now. );

Comedy is awesome. (Y)

I'm hanging by a thread|1:19 AM|

Saturday, March 20, 2010

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I'm here cos.. I haven't been here in a while. So band camp was fun. We never got round to taking a section peekture. -.-

I don't think the band is ready for our concert. $#%& it.

I'm hanging by a thread|6:21 PM|

Monday, March 15, 2010

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I hate false modesty. It's just another way to lie.

If I look out for only myself, I would've let you drown. But I didn't, I wanted you to succeed.

My mistake.

I'm hanging by a thread|10:21 PM|

Saturday, March 13, 2010

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I've been thinking about Sims all day! OH MY GOD. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. I NEEEEEEEEEEEED TO PLAY SIMS. It's like how you crave a food and you keep thinking about it and once you eat it you don't care much about it anymore.

I can't stand it! AHH. ); SIMS isn't installed in any of the computers in my house. ); I can't pacify this enormous craving and urge. It's killing me!!!!!!

I'm hanging by a thread|11:43 PM|

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Watching Romeo And Juliet now. 8) The cooler version. HAHA. I love the poetry luh.

Thy Juliet is alive, there art thou happy. Hehe.

Such a sad yet empowering story. Mmhmm.

Fever! ); Just a slight one. True enough, when I woke up from my nap, my grandmother and mother were fussing all around me. 8|

Grandparents are coming over soon. (; Gonna watch Ugly Betty with 'em while eating. Oh, have I mentioned, my "Tab" key came out. D; Like my "Shift" and ";" key last time. This "Tab" key is the first to come out since the computer guy replaced my keypad. There was something wrong with the display thing, and the battery thing. While I was in school, some computer guy came over to fix it. So I guess he saw the keypad in bad condition and replaced it. Why would he bring an extra keypad around..? HAHAH. I know he didn't just replace the keys cos everything looked brand new, much cleaner too. Including the track pad and all. (; I've taken better care of my laptop k. (; The keypad lasted longer than a year before its first key got detached. D;

So tomorrow, gonna meet Clement for tickets and then head to AMK/YCK for PoA tuition. I did the homework faster than I thought I would have. D; Does this mean something bad... );

Farmville is SO SLOW today! ); Lag lag lag. Grr! Anyway. I think I'll do more work. Spread the workload out! (; Art is a whole different story though. Super lazy to do it. Then again, super lazy to do SS and Chem too. Asked my aunt to help me with Chem. Go through the papers with me. Cos I'm pretty much clueless as to what they're even asking for. D; I hope she's free sometime in the week when I'm free too! She's so busy. And nowadays I'm getting busier and busier too. );

I guess I should really give up Facebook games... A bit difficult eh... HEH. Or I might give my grandmother (other) my password... So my feesh don't die and Farmville continues to climb up the ladder of levels! 8D

What homework should I do next... *thinks*.

Lazy. ); Don't wanna. Must. Don't wanna. Must. );

I guess I should get to it then.

I'm hanging by a thread|7:09 PM|

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I think I'm getting sick. );

Didn't go for Honour's Day today. Hip too painful, crutch-ing around the house last night. Couldn't sleep, kept waking up. 2.29AM, 3.15AM, 4.49Am. Do we see a pattern here? 8( 2.29, 4.49... :/

Woke up at 5AM. 6.17AM. Ughhh. Then I gave up on looking at the time. Simply couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning. Sniffling like mad. D; My nose hurts and my throat hurts. My voice is weird. Hmm. Hate it. ); Even better, my mother didn't even notice. ); They'd notice if it were my brother sniffling so much. >;(

It's okayyy, they never paid much attention to things about me they didn't know. If they knew they'd do something, or else they simply wouldn't notice.

I'm coughing too. ); Started yesterday. It's like, I just can't enjoy life. I was so happy that holidays were here. I accepted the workload. But no. I've to get sick too. Very nice, just superb.

Hip, damn painful. Back hurts. Nose and throat hurt. Ears blocked. Legs are painful. AHH.

I wish I could just fly. Like one of those superpower shits. Ah yes, the area between my shoulder blades and my neck. That area hurts too. Hmph.

Doctor says no running, no jumping, no climbing, no heels, blah blah. No heels! ); Band uniform has heels.. And CJC has stairs. ); Must tell the school, or I'd have to climb stairs to the fourth level. Hm. I hope my class doesn't hate me for this. Having to move everything down. );

My crops in Farmville wilted. ); Cos I couldn't harvest them last night. ); Damn.

Ahh. Neck hurts... );

I'm hanging by a thread|11:04 AM|

Friday, March 12, 2010

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Hello, whoever reads this. (;

My hip is getting worse. My MC is long-term. So long term that it exceeds the time I would need it until. (; All the way to August! HAHA. It's funky, but it does mean that something is very wrong with my hip muscle... );

These are back again. );

Last day of school today! Wasn't a great day, but I felt a sense of relief at hand. (; Something was coming! RELAXATION. D; Survived 10 weeks (Y)

Loads of holiday homework, of course. Chem was crazy. Four TYS (ten year series) papers plus 2 papers plus 2 or 3 worksheets! We don't only take one subject, though most of our teachers act that way. It's for our own good, I'm just not used to this pressure and workload. ); Math, it's about 70 sums. Art is gonna kill every art student in my class. For sure. PoA isn't so bad. Gotta revise Geography, hardcore. Test first thing when we get back! two SEQ questions for SS, plus personal summary for 2 chapters. Then there's the time to use for studying extra, and practising for Fantasia... Art is the worst. AHH. Must buck up. ); 3/5 is not bad, but it's not good. Must pass combined subjects! I should consider myself lucky, not doing two subjects and all. That's a lot blocks free. But I get tired and sleepy. All to my own fault, of course. -.- Must give up Farmville... );

I'm not happy with the new time table! );

Art is first thing first day! WHAT THE FUCK.

It's not so bad though, I guess. Overall.

There's always a break. Hard to explain but yeah. (;

I realised this afternoon that there isn't one day that I have nothing on at all. ); I hate busyness.

Monday there's PoA tuition. Tuesday there's Math class. Wednesday there's jamming. Thursday thru Saturday is band camp. And school reopens.

I've been thinking about Sims a lot recently. ); I've this fear that by the time O's are over, all the sims 2 expansions would've ceased production and only sims 3 expansions would be available! I'm trying to buy them all now but not play them yet. (; Waiting for my new laptop, then I'll install sims, sims and more sims. 8)

My laptop has no more disk space. It is rebelling against me. I can't even rotate a peekture anymore. Must delete shit loads of things. ); Gotta go develop soon! Then I can delete many many more folders without losing proof of memories.

Oh well. Here I go, deleting shit. Baiiiiii.

I'm hanging by a thread|9:21 PM|

Thursday, March 11, 2010

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Heya friends. (;

Sorry for being so beeetchy today. );

Bad mood I think. I don't know why.

Busking is ON. (Y) We got the green light from Chan. Mmmhmmm. I love percs arh.

Macs for lunch. Yupyup, we're awesome. Heather and I went to Braddell's Macs and got 20-piece nuggets and 2 large fries. Plus 2 apple pies for Heather and Kia Ying. LOL. Still gotta work on I Got A Feeling.. And others. (;

Went for tuition~

Funky shit. Ate random Indonesian nuts and beans. O.O

Kacang Oven?? And some Koro something. Nice though unknown! LOL

Today it was WAY quieter than usual though. I was screwed up, no energy. Brenda doesn't say much anyway, she's very serious about her work. (Y) Regina was really tired. And since we three said nothing, Jeannette said nothing too. HAHAH. Oh well.

Mum sent Regina home. Mum got lost. Twice. Mum got grumpy. );

Watched Glee. Oh man. The actress for Quinn Fabray (Dianna Agron) is soooo.... Mmhmm. Shan't say. (; love her ttm sial.

I'm hanging by a thread|9:58 PM|

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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I know I'm full of crap and I'm sorry.

BUSKING IS COMING! D; D; D; D; D;

So today was a REALLY tiring day. Nah, it wasn't actually.. Just that my hip could possibly have killed me. (; HAHAH. Nehh. (wtf I keep contradicting myself)

It hurt a lot today. ); I wish I could just sit on a wheelchair and have it steer itself, able to go up steps and all too. But it's Ok. Took the lift up and down to and from the band room. Kills to climb up to class. D;

Since I've relied so much on my left leg/hip, NOW IT HURTS. Grr. Am I simply not meant to have legs?

Anyways! Won't die, won't die. Can't die anyway, whose legs can kill them. -.-

Band was interesting today. Mmhmm. Mary Poppins! And we let Sir listen to two of our busking songs. Hmmm. My hip hurt too much. ); In the beginning, I took one of the square pillows and put it a space between the Perc stools. I sat there cos there was nothing for me to do, not much at least. Got tired... Almost fell asleep. Then I had something to do so I got up. In the end, behind the cymbals was a chair with a back (y'know y'know... wooden chair with the backing yeah I think some clarinetist sat on it before, the really big clarinet, long too. My memory fails me) with a pillow on it. Ahhhhhhh, so comfortable. (Y)

Went for dinner with Crystal. Mos Burger yeah! Corn soup ftw. (Y)

We bought the $1 M&Ms from the weird machine thing near Body Shop on the way to Mos Burger. HAHA. I noticed just now that I used up ALL MY COINS in ONE DAY. Power.

Recess, paying Nurriny back, random expenditures, the M&Ms.... Hmm. I think I'm left with one ten-cent coin and 2 five-cent coins. :/

I'm so tired. I can only hope I am getting sick. Surely I'm not. Sometimes I wish my immune system weren't so strong. );

I'm getting tired. Lazy to type.

Bye people. Whoever reads this. (;

hahaha. So excited for busking. I know we'll rock the foyer/canteen and raise a lot of munnaye. <3> cos P-R=A

I'm hanging by a thread|8:29 PM|

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

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I feel so tired. I feel sick. I feel lazy. I feel happy. I feel annoyed. I feel angry. I feel restless. I feel uncomfortable. I feel disgruntled. I feel lousy. I feel excited. I feel moved.

I don't get it. Do you?

Things don't seem to be happening in my life, things that would tip me over. But somehow I just don't feel right. There's this perpetual discomfort in me every day, all day. I just need to let it all out and I can't. I can't get into a good position to sit, or sleep even.

I feel stressed. I think I'm jealous. I feel unloved. I feel funky. I feel incomplete.

Would you like to explain this to me?

I can't understand the conflicting emotions I'm having.

It would be a relief if I were schizophrenic. (Y)

I'd rather be clinically insane than go through this as a normal person, cos it's hard. Though I know I'm not the only one, to each his own.

I realised, today, while talking to Diane at Macs today that this year hasn't been too bad. (;

We were looking back on my life experiences in sec 2, 3, 4, and whatever has passed of this year.

So this year doesn't seem bad, if you were to compare. Of course, I don't think I could ever put it all in words to fully express in intricacy how I felt and what had happened.

I think I'll change the "title" of this blog. Now it's "you can sit beside me when the world comes down". I wanna change it. Any suggestions?

I don't think anyone responds but whatever. Lol.

I've been looking into my near future. I noticed something. DAMN, AM I BUSY. -.-

Art (killjoy), band (concert + Sydney), Axis, schoolwork, extra classes, tuition... Ahh.

I'm having second thoughts about Sydney. What if I don't go? Would there be a difference in my grades? I should think so.

Yes. Not going to Sydney would probably fetch me better grades. However, I've already signed up for this and I can't back out. I've already pledged my allegiance to partaking in the competition. AHHH.

I'm failing O's. Bravo, bravo. *clap clap*

(;

Rock on, awesome people.

I'm hanging by a thread|11:44 PM|