As I Say My Goodbyes

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

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When you turn around, can you recognize my face?

Omg. I am so sleepy. I now believe that Farmville is taking its toll on me. ); I'm here, because I need/want to harvest my crops (grapes, to be exact). Yes. Sad, ain't it?

Was watching American Idol with my mum, while eating dinner. Shortly after, I was so sleepy! The same kind of sleepy that I get in class (and damn, that's so sleepy) when I can barely keep my eyes open. I rested on the arm of the couch and I guess I fell asleep. Cos I woke up to Susy, waking me up. I hadn't washed up yet. HEH. :/ So I went to wash up, and now I'm here. When washing up doesn't wake me, and the COMPUTER doesn't wake me... I'm too sleepy to handle tomorrow without sleeping early. Yup. Once I've harvested my grapes, and fed my fish (feeeeshville) I'm throwing in the towel. (Y) Early night after how many months...

Band today was rather unusual. The band wanted to wish Sir a happy birthday (which was on Monday but we don't see him on Mondays) so they spent half an hour planning. Good time management -.-

Plan: Whack gong, sing happy birthday. Section Leader refused to be the one to whack the gong (afraid of idkwhat much....) so I did. (; It's fun. haha. We haven't used the gong for such a long time! It was amusing to watch Cherie and Kelly all jittery and anxious about Sir coming up. (Y)

Der Vogelhandler all day today. Why is it that it's always main band days, with Sir, that Josephine doesn't come! ); I need my bass drummer! (; Yes, she's lucky she got her M&C on Monday. *narrow eyes*

Rena played bass drum today, and Denise improved so much on the crashing cos Heather and Kia Ying taught her together. Denise got SO MUCH better over a 10 minute break. Don't underestimate the power of the senior and junior percussionists!

No Perc dinner today. I don't think that has happened for quite a while now.... We've always been having Perc dinner. So I guess I can say that today was an unusual Wednesday. With Regina absent too. );

My knee hurts. Bring on rounds for HHF tomorrow man, I wanna see how long I'll last. ); There are so many things wrong with me that makes running really difficult. BUT! Exercise is the way to go to make it better. What these professional people don't understand is that, I can't CHOOSE how much I wanna exercise. I'm in school, ever heard of it? There isn't much freedom in school. -.-

AHH. Must plow, must plant....

Ciao. );

I'm hanging by a thread|9:56 PM|

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

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Woots! (; I took the circle line home today. It's unusual cos I love the long ride home via Red+Purple lines, or 153. I don't like the circle line. It's too fast! Well, I wanted to be home EARLY but I needed to drop by somewhere to get a birthday present for a certain someone whose birthday is the day before the day I'm going to Udders with her. (hmmmmmmmm).

SO! I was waiting for 153, so I texted Susy to meet me at Hougang Interchange at 3.30. It was about 2.40 when I texted her. Well, I had JUST missed the bus. I waited until 2.44 (yes... rare but reasonable impatience) and left. I decided to take the Circle line, cos... it's faster. By the time I was at Bishan it wasn't even 3 yet! It was 2.58. I was thinking, 'whoa...'.

Blah blah. I reached Hougang at about 3.14. I remember all this because somehow I just do... Strange isn't it? (;

Met Susy. I wanted to meet her cos I needed more money. I only had ten bucks with me, that wasn't enough to get what I wanted to get. I asked her to bring $15. Bought the gift and we were going to head home... but adjourned to Subway to get me a lunch sub. (; HAHA. They have student meals now! HAHA. Is it some sort of a trend or something? With the F&B outlets?

I got a Ham student meal. Typical me. D;

Sigh. Speaking of which, it's lent. ); And I haven't given up anything for lent. And, sad to say, I'm not going to... I feel so unholy. ); BUT NO. (; I'm not unholy. (; Hahah. I just... am not gonna give anything up... Heh? (;>

ANYWAY... Moving on. (;

Got a sub with a cookie and a drink. That's the meal deal. Haha. Went home (it's only what 5 minutes away) and sat at the kitchen counter, finishing my sub. Susy had eaten so nothing to worry about there.

After I'd eaten the sub (it was good.....), I started to practise. (;

Yay. HAHA. On my "free" days, my plan is to go home ASAP so I can practise. Cos y'know... drums and night time DO NOT go together AT ALL.

Practised and practised the songs for Axis. Damn, I'm still not on the ball with 'em all yet. )';

And there are a few songs that I don't have. ); I practise by blasting the songs into my ears via iPod. =D So not having the song is BOOOOOO.

I got tired so I walked around the house and came back to the drum set. (; I thought I'd practise Der Vogelhandler. (; I'm pretty satisfied, cos I can play through the whole song, in tempo with the iPod. (; But of course, there's always somewhere to improve on. My rolling needs work. D; When I'm done with that I'll work on rolling dynamics. HAHA.

Yes, so I practised Der Vogelhandler. I think I played it through about seven or nine times. It's too fun. HAHA.

When I got tired, I tried out A Little Piece of Heaven WITH the actual song. Die. No way. I can't play it in tempo. Then again, we don't have to for busking. We'd definitely go a lot slower than the original. Duhhh...

I feel that the band is so unsupported now. ); Kinny ain't coming for Fantasia (which is sad cos I'm playing her part for Vogel. D; Then again that would be extra pressure. But it'd be so much better if she could come) and Jayni doesn't wanna support our busking unless someone else goes with her. Still working on that one... Hmmm. *Checks if Veronica or Kinny are online*

Ticket sales for band concerts are going down. GRRRR.

It's OK. My awesome Elites promised they'd come. If they don't.. They better watch it.

I'm going for theirs too. (; Mmmmmhmmm.

Back to point. Wow, I've digressed so far.

After playing A L P O H, I was suddenly inspired to remind the section to practise for busking. Cos we've mastered Poker Face but nothing else. And busking's next week.

I know we can do it luh, it's time and effort that comes into play now.

I should be doing Art now... And Math. But I'm right here... waiting for you. Haha no luh. I'm right here playing Farmville. D; This is bad, very bad. ); Talk about distractions.

Sigh. There's band tomorrow. May all our moods be good and our morale high.

Yesterday.

Monday right... Yes, Monday.

I forgot about playing for morning assembly, I merely remembered I had to be in school early. Stupid, right? HAHA. So I climbed up the endless flights of steps to my classroom. And slept. I woke up a few minutes after 7AM (before 7.05, mind you) and what did I wake up to? I woke up to the sound of the band playing warm-ups. I thought to myself, "shit."

Lol, I sprang out of my seat and practically flew out of class. Then I realised that if I ran, I'd be panting and tired and sweaty when I reach the parade square. Change of plan, walk briskly. HAHA.

I love my friends. I really do. They were super encouraging, even at the most insignificant of time which brighten up my day. 8) They were telling me I was good and all that. Awwww. *big fat heart* Even if I don't believe it's true, they sure do.

Before Science Practical, Elites and I sat in the canteen. It's super funny. (;

And I drank out of two cups of milo, cos I asked the general Elite public to help me to buy Milo. Nurriny and Diane both came back with a cup. Oh wellz. 8D HAHAH.

Hmm. Nothing much happened in the course of the day.

Band! (; Got in at about 4+ cos of Chem Practical. Practised Der Vogelhandler with Josephine. (Y) Very good, the sec twos are getting better and better.

After band, almost everyone stayed behind to finalize Poker Face. It's our best busking piece. We played and played. And Zena got distracted with another band girl. And I shouted, "hurraye!!" And she ran away. HEHE. (;

Funky, cos I wasn't angry.

At first, Zena clicked. Then Zena played and Rachel clicked. Rachel got tired and Zena seized the opportunity to not play and click sticks. Puh! );

Our last run through was the best. (; Made Zena play drum set, substitute for Heather. Cos the drum set is the beat to follow.

We played through the whole song! (; And the people who were still in the band room, packing up/chatting were cheering for us when we had finished. What a full feeling. (; Awesome that we mastered Poker Face, so dinner was my treat to whoever was going for dinner. Mmmhmm. However, I didn't bring much in the first place. LOL. Went to Swensen's cos of Josephine's HARDCORE M&C craving. Dinner was fun, really fun. (; Hahah found out a lot of stuff. Ooh ooh. ^^

Josephine's M&C. (Do you see her SUPER SKINNY arm, I think it runs in her family, Nicole's another one).

Yesterday was also Rachel's birthday. I'd say it wasn't so bad [but idk what goes on in her mind]. (; Good Poker Face, almost-free dinner. HAHA. I'm glad Rachel likes the gift I got her. (; And I'm touched by the dedication on her blog. Yay *heart* Rachel. (;

^ See the birthday girl. Awww. HAHA.

Yes yes. Overall I love the section larh arh.. It's been getting better. (; Uphill baby!

Blogging takes up so much time. ); I took more than 4 hours on this post. );

I'm hanging by a thread|6:54 PM|

Sunday, February 21, 2010

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Did you know that when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.

313 every Sunday with Dad. (; For the sake of using the coupons in the coupon booklet, which my Dad says is a waste of money. Being a business man and all, he doesn't think coupons save much. I guess he's right, but I'm a teenager and coupons are fun to use. Even if you don't, it feels like you do save something.

So TODAY, at 313, we used three coupons! (; Maggie Moo's ($2 off Fresh Escapes), Spice Box (my dad's meal, free $1 dollar drink with the meal), and Subway (for me, free SMALL drink with 6" sub or wrap. I had a sub, my usual Subway Melt).

Gawsh. I've been so stressed lately. ); Band 1 and band 2, SCHOOL (85% of stress is from this. Grrrrrrrr), ART (yes art is totally different from school, it's a whole new world of stress), PEOPLE....... And personal things. It could be that it's just me and poor time management, as it's always been.

Art is going to fucking make all my hair lose its pigment and all my eyes encircled with dark dark bags.

The section is killing me slowly. And I need to perfect my rolls! Grarh. >;(

School is school. Sigh. I don't understand things. I can't do Math properly, I don't understand PoA enough, I can't follow Chemistry, I can't remember anything for Biology, I'm not even allowed to sleep or even sit where I sit for ENGLISH (wth right, I'm not even taking the bloody subject, why can't I sleep huh! And what's wrong with where I sit, it's not my fault you put me in front and that my chair is a bright color, nor is it my fault that I need that chair in the first place), Geography is 0% absorption for my brain, SS is so confusing, and Art... Oh don't get me started on Art. Art has helped me to further believe that I do not think enough. Therefore not having any sense of deep thought nor creativity. TYVM. And band? Band is tiring, more on the heart than on the head.

CAs are coming. It's like a huge shadow of impending doom. Or a plague of some sort. Getting bigger as it draws near. Oh My God I am going to die. RUN. NO wait, I can't run. I turn around and it's an endless wall that interminably SIMPLY EXISTS. I do my best to conquer the war but I foresee a great loss and as a result, greater loss soon after.

Could I please just disappear for one week?

I'm hanging by a thread|8:21 PM|

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

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Happy Chinese New Year.

And Happy Valentine's Day. (;

Well, happy is simply a word.

My Lunar new year hasn't been so great. It's been pretty bad, actually. So many things have happened that just signify future shortcomings and disasters. Oh well. Isn't it the perfect year for failure?

I'm hanging by a thread|12:16 AM|

Friday, February 12, 2010

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I'm not something you can just turn on and off.

My day has been eventful! (; And pretty much my week, it being TDD (total defense day or as that unknown teacher called it, 'total day defense' haha) and all.

Mondays, in general, are good. Five blocks (20-minute periods, as they are now) of Mother Tongue before recess. That's six free blocks! (; If I'm not wrong, I slept the whole time... No wait. I don't even remember! My memory's failure is a burgeoning concern... Oh, and there was photo-taking for my class (5/1). (; I was not prepared. My hair was terrible, I wore my worst pinafore and I wore my semi-green (the effects of spray paint) shoes. ); And I was in front! All thanks to my lack of height. ); So my semi-green shoes were visible as ever. I enjoyed the group shots though. THE FAMILY <3

The four children, Audrey, Brenda, Jolene, Nurriny. Produced by four DIFFERENT men (wedlock much) because their mother is a slut mum, that would be me. :/ And my current husband who hasn't given me a child is Sacha! My Dad and Mum are Diane and Regina respectively. And suddenly I've got a sister, Cheryl Chong. HAHA. Complicated much. For the group shot, I remember Sacha and I did an infomercial pose. "(Y)(Y):D"

And on this Monday, Science practical was fun. Nurriny and I made an Onion bracelet for me. (; HAHA.

Tuesday was strange, cos we were told that we wouldn't be celebrating CNY and instead, we'd be having "Monday" lessons on Friday (today) to make up for the day they gave us off for the good O level results. Doesn't make sense, because what's the point of having given us the day off in the first place if they were gonna take it back? -.-

Wednesday was the "Tuesday was strange" sequel! HAHA. They changed their minds and decided, based on our feedback, that we would be celebrating CNY. It was really amusing. Ah, but Wednesday was the day. They did not give us any prior notice, so we weren't prepared for what was coming up. The canteen was closed and the PSG (parent support group) held a stall selling food, representing the black market (Nasi Lemak for SIX BUCKS). And two people shared one food ration coupon! All in the spirit of Total Defense... ); It's OK, though. I'd been bringing Chicken Pie (Polar ftw) to school for two weeks. (; After recess was five blocks of Art. Funny, funny. Regina and I sat together and we were SO retarded! Haha I love her, man. So freaking fun. Moreover, we DID do something. (; We didn't just go "all play no work" style. (; (;

After Art was assembly. So at about 1PM, some siren went off. I don't know if it was a fire alarm or if it was some Total Defense thing. Either way, we had to go to the hall (conveniently, it was raining which made it less suspicious that they just wanted a cool, theme-related way to get us into the hall for assembly) in an "orderly manner". (; REGINA WAS THE BEST, I swear! She got up right away and said, "c'mon people let's go!"

HAHAHAH.

Jeannette and Brenda returned from Councillor photo-taking afterwards, and Jeannette asked if she could eat her cup noodles (she brought 'em herself). Astro Boy said OK, eat at the stairs. Brenda hadn't eaten either. So, Jeannette offered to share. Brenda declined cos cup noodles is "so unhealthy". Picky sial! HAHA. So, Astro Boy asked some assistant teacher, "eh (__insert name here__), do you have a Snickers?" And the first thing I heard after that was "NO! ANIMAL TESTING!" From none other than.... REGINA. AWESOME, man. HAHAHHA.

A lot of stuff happened. I'm too lazy to narrate in detail. ); At first, Astro Boy told us to pack up to get ready to file to the hall. Minutes later, he said to continue with our work. So Regina was like, "Eh! First you tell us to pack up, then you tell us to do our work. What do you want!" while swaying her shoulders back and forth like a child. (; DAMN FUNNY. The whole class laughed.

Omg. Super funny. Then Regina and I were laughing and laughing about something. And Astro Boy commented on us. He said something about, us playing and whether we'd done anything. "Huh! Huh, Shannen did you do anything?" And I replied, "eh I did, K. I did the toning all!"

HAHAH. Good moods bring good memories. (; HAHHAHA.

Something else happened on Wednesday. ); In the morning, had a talk with Ng, with Diane and Petrina. About a little jewellery. ); I took it out and damn fuck, it closed. ); I'm so pissed off, yet sad. ); It's like a sense of loss. Can I hold on to anything that makes me happy for long? No... I enjoyed my CCA ttm until the politics soured it all. SO. I was super... Emotional. For a while... Then I put it aside until after school. That was when I learned that it had closed. And I was pissed off. And Crystal and Kia Ying kept telling me to chill. );

Band photo-taking too! (; Everyone was complaining about their fringes being ruined cos they had to be off our foreheads. But the group photo was awesome. PERCUSSION IS AWESOME AND ORIGINAL. Not preppy and whatever just smile smile MUST look glamorous all. (; We did Kia Ying's awesome pose. One eyebrow up and the 7 thing. Damn funny. Went for dinner at KFC with Crystal, Josephine, Patey and Rachel. (; I realise, I eat a lot and I eat slowly.

So this week was fun. I also learned that somehow I make good song titles. HAHAH. Apparently, I guess.

Regina and Nurriny like what I say. It's funny shit. (Y)

Regina: Harry Was The Stairs and Screamo Emo.

Nurriny: Slowly, but surely.

I'm pretty happy, then. (; That I'm humorous, at least. HAHAHAHHAHA.

"Harry Was The Stairs" came from when I heard what Regina had said, wrongly. Screamo Emo was random. And Slowly, but Surely was from what I said about something I do... HAHA.

Thursday (yesterday) was... Interesting. haha. Not that interesting, but good things came my way. (; PoA test results: 15/20. *jumps for joy...* =D Wowee!

Geography was funny. Teacher's assistant went around checking our books to see if we'd completed the 18 pages of the workbook. (I know right, eighteen pages, but it wasn't that bad).

Mine was incomplete. So the teacher's assistant wrote "incomplete" accompanied by a ":(" face, drawn vertically. DAMN CUTE. (;

English... I read my book for a while and had an awesome sleep. (; It's fantastic to have so many free periods. (; (;

TODAY. Haha. Funky.

CNY celebration + TDD.

Morning assembly dragged cos of the Red Cross and Girl Guides marching thing, plus the solo Cornet anthem thing? Followed by mass which was... Meh. Usual. (; I slept from 3/4 of the Homily to the time we had to kneel. :/);

After the mass was THE BEST.

OUR SCHOOL HIRED A PROFESSIONAL MAGICIAN (with his own theme song and introduction over the PA system, mind you) TO PERFORM FOR US!!!!!!!! Alex. (Y)(Y)

Recess was whatever. One hour though. (; Then it was the students' turn to perform. Red, Blue, Green, Yellow house all performed. I'm not quite sure about all that, I was asleep most of the time. :/

Went back to class when we were dismissed. Got 2009's school yearbook! (; FOUR photos of Diane and Regina together, and ONE FULL PAGE of JUST DIANE. Diane's someone important in this school eh? ^^

I realised something, when I was looking at the band photo. I'm right smack in the middle of the photo! HAHAH. (Y)

Omg this is such a long post...

Went to Vivo with Sheryl Shen! We were going to watch a movie, but got a shock at the massive number of people streaming through Vivo! ); At least 7 slots of each movie was selling fast and the one we wanted to watch was not at a good timing. );

Movie - Fail. Went to Candy Empire before we checked out the movies. (; Snickers (scroll up, oh the irony) and Jelly Beans!

We ate at Burger King. (; The queue was crazy, and there were no seats. So we did the Auntie thing. Stand around, silently but definitely pressurising the people to move faster and GO AWAY. Hahaha. So I secured a table, and Sheryl bought the food. After that, we headed to Toys "R" Us. Took peektures. (;

After which we adjourned tooooooooo... The rooftop. Where we played my new game (bought it at Toys "R" Us) for like, 10 minutes. (; Setting up took 10 minutes, putting back took 10 minutes. (; Half an hour on the rooftop. Then we headed to Starbucks. Now I owe Sheryl money too. ); See luh, people do this to me and now I'm doing it to people. ); But it's OK, unlike them, I return the money quickly. (;

Sheryl kept playing Tap Tap Revenge on my iPod. HAHA. But she's considerate and leaves enough battery for my trip home. (Y) (; (;

Met mum at Hougang Mall. Thanks to convenient timing. (;

Grandparents drove us home, after picking brother. (; Had dinner together in the patio, listening to my brother's stories about the people and system at camp. (;

And have I mentioned that I've got a new lizard? A changeable lizard. OH right. I got it on Tuesday. Crystal caught it but couldn't keep it so she gave it to me to take care of. (; On that day, my class went to Body Worlds with our Bio teacher. Diane, Regina, Nurriny and I went to Old Town White Coffee for lunch cos we didn't go for the Body Worlds thing. (;

AND I'M SORRY FOR THE TIRING POST, IT MUST HURT TO READ IT. D;

I'm hanging by a thread|8:50 PM|

Monday, February 08, 2010

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I feel so indifferent. Yet neglected and betrayed.

What happened to what we used to have? We used to be so close. We used to know all. So what happened? Changed happened. I hate it when people change, and people get left behind.

This is why I do my best to keep in touch with friends. No matter the closeness, distance, frequency of contact. I want my friends to know I'd like to continue to be in their lives, and not allow myself to fade out in due time just cos that's the way things are.

I'm hanging by a thread|11:12 PM|

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Swallow your pride, control your anger. Or you'll be just the way you hate it.

I'm so stressed. My life is so stressful. I wish I were dead. Then again, there'd be none to care.

I sound like some whiney spoiled bitch. );

I am very stressed. ); Sigh. I've been worse though.

I'll try to be positive here, unlike some people.

I'm still able to laugh. I'm still able to smile. I'm still able to make others laugh. I still care about others. I'm still able to help others. I'm still able to make people smile. People are still seemingly happy to see me. (; Life's been worse, I guess I can get through this.

On my fucking own. As much as I wish there would always be someone I can lean on. Someone I can fall back on when my life shatters into a million pieces and floats around the world. Someone who can understand why I feel the way I feel and why I say and do the things I say and do. As much as I wish, the people who cared for me so much once upon a time would care for me the same way again. It isn't going to happen, so I have to do this on my own.

I'm hanging by a thread|10:12 PM|

Monday, February 01, 2010

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Ugh.

I need someone to make life worth living.

I'm hanging by a thread|10:34 PM|