Saturday, April 18, 2009

______________________________

Please just either let me leave this world or let me do what I want. All this, doesn't affect my studies. Small things. My well-being shouldn't be given a shit about OK? I'm not worth it, not worth your time or your efforts. They're all wasted cos I can tell you, I am not going to stop. You can say it's a habit.
Why are you so strongly against my subconscious habits? Half the time I don't realise I'm doing it until someone, mostly you, orders me to "STOP".
The way you do it, the things you restrain me from, makes me feel like just crying. Cos it goes against anything about me, it opposes anything I like, it entraps me in this gotta-be-a-good-girl-who-loves-herself cloud of personal error.
Please don't drown me in a pool of self-hatred and lack of space. I need my personal space. Notice my mood and know when not to tell me to stop whatever I'm doing 'cos it's bad for me'.





I need something. Something I know I can never hold on to. Something that only ever lasts seconds. No matter how tightly I hold it, it still escapes right through my fingers. Just like water, you can't catch it with your hand can you?
Is there any way that I will keep this something ever so precious?
Please take a moment to stay. Life moves too fast. If only I could slow it down a little.
I hate the feeling I get when you walk away. I know it doesn't occur to you, how all this makes me hurt so bad. I can only wish anything would change.

Pictures of you, pictures of me.
Hung upon your the wall, for the world to see.
Pictures of you, pictures of me.
Remind us all of what we used to be.

I'm hanging by a thread|11:33 PM|

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

______________________________

What's wrong with me. What's wrong with the way I do things.
What's wrong with anything I try to do. What's wrong with my perception.
What's wrong with how I feel. What's wrong with how dress.
Why is all of this against me?

What about everything. If you bother remembering. Yet it's nothing to you now. It never meant a thing. You seemed so sincere. You seemed so real when you said you were sorry for all that. It appears I have to be on the verge of real death before you do anything and keep to it.
Cos you're just the same as before now.

I'm a disgrace. I'm a disaster. I'm torn apart. There's nothing anyone can do. Except one.

I'm hanging by a thread|10:47 PM|

Hello, hello
Yes, the headers are like, A7x songs. I know.

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Scream, scream scream


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